Buddy of mine posed this question to me on G Chat today. Now I’m a piece of shit out of shape 27 year old blogger but I think I’d be a top 5 player depending on where I played in the field. Like I would be an All Star top 5 first basemen in the league. As long as I wouldn’t need to make throws that were that far. I would still be able to dominate the right side of the infield even playing lefty. Outfield I’d probably still provide gold glove defense. I wouldn’t be lighting up the Little League World Series with outfield assists but nobody is at that level anyway. Righty or lefty it doesnt matter when I’m like a fuckin gazelle out there covering the gaps. Basically I just couldn’t pitch or play third base. I think the rest of the diamond I’d still be more effective than like 90% of the league.

Batting I don’t know how much pop I’d have, but I think I’d just be like Ichiro. Slapping singles all over the field. Just peppering the field with base knocks all afternoon. I’d probably go like 3-5 with 3 singles every game. Plus you gotta realize once I’m on base I’m stealing second and third every single time. 60 foot base paths are a fucking joke for a 27 year old man. So I’d effectively be in scoring position almost every time I step up to the plate.

Long story short I’m sure there’d still be a handful of kids who were born just after the cut off date who were big for the age who might be better than me. You know, the fat kid whos like 14 going on 15 playing with the 12 year olds just mashing and dominating the fuck out of the league. The kid whos already had his first wet dreams and he’s starting to hit puberty playing against the little boys who still put their pants all the way down around their ankle when they pee at the urinal. But other than those monsters, I think I’d have to be top 5 in the league.

Time to vote -

Vote 1 for I’d be top 5/top 10 player in the league Vote 10 for I’d be completely ineffective out there playing with my weak hand

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