The Giants make me feel like a chick who accepts getting punched in the face because she knows the make-up sex is gonna light her pussy up. Without fail, when there’s a bullshit opponent on the Giants’ schedule, I talk myself into believing there’s a chance I won’t be battered that day. Then I walk away from a right cross spitting chicklets.

There’s no need to go into detail covering what ended up being a mopping of the Browns. A fumble on the first play from scrimmage and busted coverage allowed Cleveland to take an early 14-0 lead and send Big Blue nation into a frenzy. I went upstairs to punch my girlfriend in the teeth. Hungover dudes who woke up to that score were tweeting me they were going back to bed. Then the second quarter came and, with the help of back-to-back CLE TOs, the G-Men punched in a pair of short-field scores as part of a 27-0 run that bled into the 3rd. When all was said & done, Cruz hauled in the salsa trifecta, Bradshaw atoned for his fumble with 200 yards & Eli made yet another Giants receiver top guy for a day – this time Rueben Randle. Let’s not forget Coach Coughlin, who’s now #2 on the franchise’s all-time wins list. With Philly’s last-second loss, NY is knotted up at the top of the East despite a pair of division losses. Now, it’s time to board for San Francisco.

Ordinarily, the Giants step up in games like this. They’re road warriors, so I’m not writing them off in this matchup just yet. They’ve followed their recent M.O. so far this year. But the Niners have absolutely killed it the past couple weeks. I don’t care if it’s only the Jets & Bills – you win back-to-back NFL games by a total of 79-3, you deserve some credit. I’ll go into a deeper preview later on in the week, but a negative for Big Blue they’ve yet to shake is, again, they came out of the Cleveland game without a sack. If JPP, Tuck & Osi plan on leaving Alex Smith upright all day, SF won’t have a problem avenging their playoff loss while Brandon fucking Jacobs points and laughs from the opposite sideline.