WIMBLEDON, England The pin-drop quiet of Wimbledon’s Centre Court long has showcased women tennis’ best players as well as its noisiest. That could be a thing of the past at the All England Cluband elsewhere if a plan agreed upon to expunge unwarranted noise with technology, rule changes and education comes to fruition. ”It’s time for us to drive excessive grunting out of the game for future generations,” WTA chairman and chief executive Stacey Allaster said. The umbrella scenario, unanimously green-lighted this month at Roland Garros in Paris by representatives of the four majors, the International Tennis Federation and the WTA players’ council, would include:

• The development of a handheld device — a kind of Hawk-Eye for noise — for umpires to objectively measure on-court grunting levels.

• A new rule setting acceptable and non-acceptable noise levels based on acoustical data gathering and analysis.

• Education at large tennis academies, national development programs and at all levels of junior and lower-tier professional events.

“I’m not going to use that word,” said Allaster in an interview Monday when asked if the portable device would be akin to the grunt-o-meters sometimes used at Wimbledon to measure egregious offenders such as Monica Selesand top-ranked Maria Sharapova. “The bottom line is that we want to bring forward across all levels of competition an objective rule through use of technology to make it much easier for athletes and chair umpires.”

Women’s tennis is like the only semi-relevant female sport in the world and they’re spending all their time complaining about how they grunt and scream. What a bunch of pussies these broads are. Like hey, lets take the one thing all of our superstars have in common and ban it! Thats good for the sport! Whatever Sharapova and Wozniacki do, lets make sure nobody does that anymore.

Personally I like a little grunting here and there from these broads. Not those annoying high pitched “WOOOO’s.” And not those Monica Seles grunts where you can’t tell if shes serving or taking a shit. But a good old fashion scream like someone is going all 50 Shades of Grey on her ass, I’m down for that. I’d love to be the ball boy holding a grunt-o-meter on the sideline calling out these bitches for being too loud. I’d be like Mac from Super Troopers sitting in his car masturbating with the radar gun. Wozniacki and Sharapova setting off my grunt-o-meter while I’m just punishing myself at Wimbledon. That would be some gig.